It is funny how some pivotal occurrences in life have a way of reverberating their lessons over time, revealing ever-deepening wisdoms. Over twenty-five years ago, what was obvious was that we could have been way more discerning that day hitch-hiking. We had already hitch-hiked thousands of miles, and on that particular day we were careless. Some may view what occurred as horrific, which indeed it was, but the countless healings that have rippled out over time have truly been profound and foundational.
Just the other day I was gifted with yet another layer of insight, “let go of the knife, it’s time to let go of your grip”. A true moment of Grace had occurred that day. Although I had been looking out the window in the passenger seat, my hand was guided to catch the blade of the knife that the driver had aimed at my chest. My hand locked on to that blade like a vice grip and held on for dear life.
I won’t go too deeply into the drama of it all, but what ended up happening was incredibly empowering on more levels than I will share today. One never knows how they will react in the face of extreme violence, it can be a powerful teacher. My friend and I ended up with possession of his knife and threw it out the window. The driver had wanted to kill me and rape my friend, but succeeded in neither. He received eight years in prison instead.
I have been given so many profound gifts around this experience, all these years later they keep coming. At the time, some truly beautiful people had read about what happened in the local newspaper and unconditionally opened their home to us while we were healing. I could share so much about their kindnesses and generous hearts, pure medicine. It’s that potency and Presence of Love that remains the true key here. This is what continues to grow my trust muscle enough to keep letting go of the blade of the knife. Not just that particular knife of long ago, but the knife of past unconscious conditioning and programming that has proved equally devastating to grip on to.
I turn 50 in a month, which feels like another significant gateway. I think this feels even more potent given the times we are living in. Perhaps that is why I am choosing to share this reflection. There is a Soul level of consciousness I am learning to invite into this old death grip on patterns and belief systems that once seemed necessary to survive. This power of Love and Presence has become a door to liberation and a true compass home. My gratitude is beyond words.
All my Love,